Apertura 2016 Preview in Snide Comments

America: 100 years in … and I really do hate them more.

Atlas: The one true solace for Cruz Azul fans. Thanks, Atlas.

Chiapas: Are you still a professional team if your squad is playing pro bono?

Cruz Azul: Somebody get Trump a Cruz Azul shirt quickly.

Chivas: The team of the people may be seen by a select few people this year.

Leon: Kind of impressive being a Chivas development team and simultaneously superior to Chivas.

Monterrey: ‘Pato’ Sanchez returns to Monterrey after some crucial training sessions with Uruguay.

Morelia: Enrique Meza is in his last season as manager before inevitably taking over for Osorio with El Tri.

Necaxa: The plan is more of a Leon than a Leones Negros.

Pachuca: Currently in negotiations with Manchester United who they’ve absolutely never heard from.

Puebla: After breaking from the mold last year and playing like a quality side, they promptly fired their manager. Whew … close one.

Pumas: Compare Nike’s work on the Pumas and Club America kits. Pretty clear their rooting interest in the Clasico Capitalino.

Queretaro: Victor Manuel Vucetich has the 4th longest tenure in the league and was fired twice in the matter of six weeks from his previous two employers.

Santos: Santos has unloaded Chuletita and anything that is funny about their attacking options. Boo.

Tijuana: Miguel Herrera.

Toluca: Tired of a Paraguayan club legend leading the team, the club flipped the script and hired an Argentine club legend.

Tigres: Gignac is allowed to crash into Tuca’s Ferrari whenever he pleases.

Veracruz: Zombie La Piedad looking more and more like La Piedad. 

 

** photo used under a creative commons license from mr__fox

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